July 3, 2012

Thankx a lot Dear

A letter to my …… half (Will fill in the blanks with the right word at the end and readers will justify it.)

Thanks a lot my dear wife. She is a wonderful person, an awesome teacher, who used to give tuitions to students and was a guest lecturer before marriage, at least which was what I was told. And I used to think, what is it that she used to teach her students. Now that I have learnt so many things from her, I cannot help but share my experience with you, as you all have been so kind enough to tolerate the nonsense I have been blurting out so far.

My beloved wife taught me that life is not a bed of roses and it has thorns in it as well. Not only that, she proved that she was correct as I am now actually living with those thorns. Thanks a lot my dear for teaching the real meaning of life and being so brutally real to me. I was such a big fool, having married to you I was trying hard to convince myself that I have got a good and a matured life partner until you taught me that life can have some serious and unforeseen problems as well. And such deep is your love for me that you taught me everything with a real and a practical example. Thanks a lot dear for teaching me that women can be so bad that they tend to ruin the whole family. Thanks a lot dear for teaching me that when a woman (read a married woman) lies about her husband and her mother-in-law, adding spice to the dish with her crocodile tears (actually even a crocodile might shed actual tears knowing you are being described with the crocodile as an allegory), the society and the law happily believes her and starts consoling her and hangs the innocent husbands life on the gallows. Had you not filed a false 498a case on me (again to teach me a lesson as I refused to bow down before you and be like a cat as per your wish like your dad does to your mother) I would have never learned that this case can be filed by any married woman and this case can be used as threat weapon, a fear psychosis tool and a legal channel to extort money, so thanks for this knowledge as well dear. Till so far I had just read in newspapers and on internet, but thanks to your false case and thanks to the stupid Indian Legal System & Police (still living in the dark ages). Thanks to you, I got to know who are my real friends and relatives and who are not, for when you made my parents’ and my life a hell. I had my friends to fall back upon and they stood beside me like a pillar but was surprised as you could only impress one of my brother with your false makeup stories as they are unaware of the real facts and truth. I will indebted to you for this. And my special thanks go to my family members(especially to Sis and Jiju), relatives and close friends; your mental support means a lot to me. You remember you used to tell me, “I will always be there for you.” I laugh it off today. And my dear wife, you very well know the smell (read odor) of the thanks I have been showering on you hitherto and shall continue to shower henceforth.

I find it so strange that when we had a nice 2 BHK rented flat, what made you choose the court as a place for dates. , I will see to it that you come there and we have a nice time together. This is my promise to you, when you have given me so much it’s my duty; I am your MAN as per the law, so I have to return you whatever I get from you. Now I know why sadistic females like you always crib of gender inequality. My mom started complaining of Leg / Chest pain. Thanks to you again as now I know the real reason which causes pain to her and will see to it that she does not take that again.

As you see I have been thanking, thanking and thanking in this post, thankx to you again for the lesson you taught me in life and thanking others who were there with me when I found the lessons out of syllabus, so I end this series with a last note to my lawyers, thankx for your immense …God bless you all.

And now I fill in the blanks, a letter to my bitter half …its upto the readers to justify why do I consider her as my bitter half , in spite of the lessons she taught me ……………..

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